Are You Happy?

Are you happy right now — in this season of your life, this chapter, this very morning? Or have you gotten good at pushing through the daily grind, hoping that someday happiness will catch up with you?

Most of us learn how to keep going and get things done. We smile when we’re expected to. We say we’re “fine” when we’re anything but. (Never believe it when a woman says she’s fine.)

I’ve asked myself the same question more than once — am I happy? And honestly, I don’t always know. I’ve built a life I’m proud of. I’ve done the hard things. But I still find myself wondering what happiness is supposed to feel like. I’ve had glimpses — a new bird at the feeder, flowers, finding a forgotten $20 bill in last winter’s coat. Quick moments of pure delight. But it passed. And it wasn’t the kind of happiness that stays.

I was wrong.

The Problem: We’re Asking the Wrong Question

We often ask ourselves, “Am I happy?” But maybe that’s the wrong question.

Happiness isn’t something we stumble upon. It’s something we create — often, in small moments, we almost miss them. The real question isn’t, “Am I happy?” but rather:

• “Am I noticing the moments when life feels good?”
• “Am I allowing myself to feel joy — even when things aren’t perfect?”
• “Am I creating space for peace, contentment, and connection in my life?”

The Choice That Changes Everything

There’s a story I love about an older woman moving into an assisted living facility. As the administrator walked her to her new room, she said apologetically, “I hope you’ll like it here.”

The woman smiled and said, “I already do.”

The administrator looked confused. “But you haven’t even seen your room yet.”

“That doesn’t matter,” the woman replied. “Happiness isn’t determined by how my room is arranged. It’s how I arrange my mind. I’ve already decided to love it.”

I’m not sure I will ever be that positive, but it’s a good mindset to try for! 

Hedonic vs. Eudaimonic Happiness

Psychologists describe two kinds of happiness:

• Hedonic is the kind that feels good at the moment — laughter, comfort, a breath of fresh air.
• Eudaimonic runs deeper — the peace comes from meaning, purpose, and being true to yourself.

Both matter. One lifts your spirit. The other carries your soul.

There is Even Research on Happiness

Harvard’s 80-year study on happiness confirms what many of us figure out later in life: joy doesn’t come from status or success—it comes from meaningful connection and how we choose to engage with our days. Don’t you wish you’d known that earlier in life? I do.

Moments of Bliss: The True Definition of Happiness

I started noticing those moments — tiny flashes of bliss that seemed to whisper, “Pay attention… this is what matters.”

• Feeling the wind on my face while walking outside.
• The peace I find when I’m behind my camera, lining up the perfect shot.
• The warmth of laughing with a friend until my face hurt.
• A quiet morning with a cup of coffee, no screens, no noise — just stillness.
• Playing with my new rescue dog, Gabby Gurley.

Those moments weren’t part of some big, orchestrated plan for “happiness.” They were small, often unexpected — but they were powerful. And when I started looking for them, they appeared more often than I’d realized.

What Can You Do to Create More of Those Moments?

Here’s what’s helped me — not as a checklist, but as gentle reminders:

1. The 5-Minute Morning Promise: I give myself five quiet minutes before checking emails or news. First, I read my devotionals. I sip coffee in silence, and at other times, I watch the birds outside my window. Starting my day this way shifts my mindset, reminding me that calm is available before the chaos begins.
2. The Permission Slip: I write myself permission slips: “Mary has permission to say no without guilt.” “Mary has permission to take a nap.” These small acts of self-kindness give me room to breathe and remind me that I don’t have to earn rest or joy.
3. The Joy Audit: Every few months, I reflect on meaningful moments: What made me feel happy? What felt good? Then I ask myself, How can I make room for more of that? For me, that means more time in nature, reconnecting with friends, and creative outlets like photography.

A Challenge

This week, stop asking yourself if you’re happy. Instead, notice when you feel at ease, at peace, or quietly joyful.

What’s one moment you can repeat or do again?

Maybe it’s stepping outside to feel the breeze. Perhaps it’s taking ten minutes to read something that makes you think or smile. Perhaps it’s reaching out to someone who brings you back to yourself.

You don’t have to overhaul your life. Just notice one good thing.

Could you let it be enough?

I’d love to hear what you notice. What’s your moment of quiet joy this week? Your story might be a reminder someone else needs.