I’ve always believed in lifelong learning, not as a slogan on a t-shirt, but as an actual way to live. I take classes. I read intentionally. I play mahjong, which turns out to be less a game and more a weekly reminder that the human brain can short-circuit in public. But here’s what nobody tells…

I opened the closet and immediately questioned my judgment. Not about the closet. About every decision I’ve made since approximately 1990. I own more black leggings than any one person should. And not one of them is the same. I’ve been very clear about this for years, and no one has pushed back hard enough…

We spend a lot of time thinking about the big moments in our lives. The weddings, births, funerals, the milestones that mark something finished or something new beginning. But most of life isn’t lived there. It’s lived in the space in between. There’s a word for that space: liminal. It means the threshold between what was…

So, whose head are you going to bite off today? We see it every day. People are rushed, distracted, and sometimes just looking for a place to drop their frustration. Most people are decent. It doesn’t take many bad interactions to ruin someone’s shift. I see it up close on weekends. Some people feel entitled….

If you saw me first thing in the morning, joyful is not the word you would use to describe me. It takes coffee and my meds to create the version of Mary Harvey the world can tolerate. Most mornings, I take that coffee outside while Gabby does her thing. It is quiet, the kind of…

Let me start with the embarrassing part. A few months into retirement, I caught myself trying to remember the last time I had taken the car out of the garage. Not going somewhere exciting. Just moved the car. That was my bar, and I wasn’t clearing it. I am someone who genuinely loves being alone….

For eight years, I lived next door to the most wonderful woman, Ann. She was the kind of neighbor who could turn a ten-minute check-in into a two-hour conversation and make you laugh before you made it back to the house. One of the reasons I was excited to move into this community was that…

Here’s how my death book is set up. I keep everything in a large three-ring binder, each section in a clear plastic sleeve. The binder lives inside a fireproof document case I can grab quickly in an emergency. A thumb drive with backups sits inside. So do spare keys, my passport, and anything someone would…

After last week’s column about creating my “death book,” many of you wrote to say the same thing: it had been on your list for years. You had thought about it and intended to do it. You just never got around to it. That response stayed with me because it revealed something most of us…

I’m writing this from a cabin on a small ship, grounded in Antarctica—nine days and counting. We’re waiting on the weather to lift so we can fly back to Chile. This isn’t a travel story. It’s what happens when a place refuses to perform on schedule. I came with a list. Set foot on Antarctica….

Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.” — Psalm 141:3 My mother once said to me, “Your mouth is going to be what gets you in the most trouble in your lifetime. What you eat and what you say.” There you have it. Two of the…

One Pearl at a Time I am not someone who stands on a soapbox or offers testimony. I don’t feel worthy or qualified. I am humbled daily by the fact that I have strung together 13 years of sobriety, not through strength or discipline, but by the grace of God. If I speak about it…

By now, most of us have lost track of what day it is, how much frozen matter actually fell, and whether leaving the house is still a reasonable ambition. This storm affected roughly 200 million people across the US. In Memphis, we could be housebound for days from sleet, snow, and ice. The roads are…

When the Year Starts Sideways I came into the new year with the usual mix of hope and anticipation. Fresh starts. No resolutions, just goals. A quiet confidence, this would be a calm year. The microwave died on January 3. Not a spark. Not smoke. I heated leftovers, walked past later, and the clock was…

I have managed to reduce the memories of two lives to two plastic boxes. Not the important parts, just the paper evidence that we were here. Photographs. Newspaper clippings. Notes that once felt too meaningful to throw away. The boxes are clear, stackable, and snap shut without hesitation, unaware of the lifetimes they hold. This…

“You should think of your energy as if it’s expensive, as if it’s like a luxury item. Not everyone can afford it.” -Taylor Swift ”The day after Christmas, I drove two hours to Reelfoot Lake by myself. No agenda. No helping. No fixing. Bad weather. Empty roads. Long drives around the lake. I photographed. I…

“The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away.” Pablo Picasso Are you making your list and checking it twice? Forget who’s been naughty or nice for a moment. You want your gifts to meet expectations and not create a Christmas Day meltdown. The days of…

The Ballerina Ornament That Sparked a Larger Truth She had found four ballerina ornaments. She needed five. I watched her circle the Christmas tree display again, hope fading with each pass. Five granddaughters, only four ornaments. She asked if we had any more, and I offered to look through the display tree for her. I…

Thanksgiving has always been meaningful for me. I don’t need a holiday to feel grateful; I practice it daily. But something about it reminds me just how good my life is. I know I live in the top tier of the world’s population. I am blessed.  I have a warm home, good food, friends who…

Heading into Thanksgiving week always feels like a giant timer starts ticking in my kitchen. I shift into the season of cooking for my family, neighbors, and anyone who’s woven into the rhythm of my life. Every year, I say I’m going to do less, and every year the season opens the same way: with…

We’ve spent a lifetime accumulating stuff. Here we are in the autumn of our lives, wondering what to do with all these priceless treasures. When life feels out of control, I turn inward to my soul and to my home. I begin to purge. That’s been my coping mechanism for years. If I can’t control…

A friend frequently said, “Every silver lining has a dark cloud.” It wasn’t cynicism – it was humor born from experience. And if you’ve lived a little, you understand the sentiment. Some of us are wired to anticipate the worst. Not because we’re negative, but because life trained us to stay ahead of trouble. We’ve…

“Life is always a tightrope or a feather bed. Give me the tightrope.” — Edith Wharton Are there days when the easy choice is calling your name? When you could turn off your phone, cancel the appointment, walk away from responsibility, and no one would blame you? When comfort looks less like laziness and more like…

It’s Sunday morning, and here I am writing my weekly article. I’ve already written five versions of this newsletter this week. None felt right. I need to submit it today so it’s ready for Tuesday morning. Before I got out of bed, I prayed: “Show me what you need to hear this week.” And this is what…

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” — Psalm 90:12 The In-Between Lately, it feels like everyone I know is facing something — loss, change, the slow unraveling of plans. We’re not young anymore, but we’re not old-old either. Our friends are becoming grandparents. We go to more…

Losing track of time might mean you’re finally getting it right. I’ve been late my whole life. Always flying in with one shoe half on, mascara on one eye, and a to-do list scribbled on the back of a grocery receipt. But something strange has happened since I left my career. I’m not just late…

A Symbol of Kindness from the Past During the Great Depression, men known as hobos rode freight trains from town to town seeking work and food. They developed a system of symbols to help one another—warnings, recommendations, and safe havens. One of the most meaningful marks was a simple drawing of a cat near the…

For most of you, the holiday season is weeks away. In retail, the trees are up and the tinsel is everywhere. This week, I started making Christmas bows for work—never mind that it was 95 degrees outside while I wrestled with red velvet ribbon. I expected my fingers to snap right back into rhythm. Loop,…

My niece Alison posts about rescue dogs almost daily. One day, she shared a picture of a funny-looking, copper-colored dog. She had the face of a Brussels Griffon and the body of a Dachshund. A strange combination, but overwhelmingly cute. That photo kept tugging at me. Something about her said, I’m your companion for the…

Ever picked up a stone on a walk, for no reason other than it felt like it belonged in your hand? Stones are everywhere—so common we forget how much they’ve shaped our lives. But like the memories and burdens we carry, some steady us and some weigh us down. The trick is knowing which to…

Think about the last time someone criticized your favorite thing. You drink too much coffee, eat too many carbs, spend too much time on a hobby, or even talk to yourself. Do you feel judged and defensive? Maybe you have a moment of doubt about the thing that brings you joy. These people annoy me….

This past week, I met up with my old friend, a Catholic priest. We’ve known each other for more than 35 years, through grief, growth, loss, and laughter. He was one of the first people at my house the night Paul died. He and I were both in shock; we had lost a man we…

“It is impossible for you to go on as you were before. So, you must go on as you never have.” — Cheryl Strayed There’s a moment after every life-changing event, a death, divorce, diagnosis, betrayal—when the casseroles stop arriving, the text messages slow, and the final guest leaves. You close the door. Turn the…

My niece Amber was a surgical RN who decided to become a nurse practitioner. With one daughter in college and another in high school, she spent two years studying in the car during softball tournaments, sacrificing her personal life for her dream. Now she’s a nurse practitioner doing what she loves. But at 40, she’d…

This morning, I stood on a pontoon boat at 5:30 a.m., drifting across Reelfoot Lake in northwest Tennessee. Years ago, that hour belonged to jet lag, insomnia, or the tail end of a long night out. Now it holds something richer: purpose, curiosity, and the stillness I used to chase but never found. Sixteen of…

Some people light up a room when they walk in. Others light it up when they walk out. I’ve been both! That’s not being mean to realize that some people are just that way, it’s your nervous system doing its job. Nobody warns you about this part of getting older: your tolerance for nonsense shrinks,…

There wasn’t even cake or Mahjong! Please take a moment and read the symptoms of a new COVID-19 variant. It’s making the rounds. I turned 67 this week. I had plans. Birthday plans. Mahjong plans. Nothing wild, but still, plans. Instead, I spent my birthday in bed with the worst aches I’ve ever felt, body…

If you’re a woman of a certain age, you might understand the urge to downplay your birthday. To hide the number, joke it off, and scrub your age from your Facebook account.  That shift in perspective didn’t happen overnight. For years—especially in corporate America—I kept my age quiet. Aging and appearance are critical in the…

“My time here is short. What can I do the most beautifully?” James Patterson James Patterson said it on CBS Sunday Morning—and it made me pause. He didn’t know the origin, only that the words had stayed with him. The older we get, the more we understand why. Time is short. We’ve been running full…

We celebrate beginnings, new jobs, new habits, new passions. But we rarely talk about the wisdom in quitting. Not out of failure, but from clarity. Sometimes continuing feels heavier than letting go. That’s not giving up, it’s growing beyond what no longer fits. “If there is a secret to life, I think it might be…

The Invisible Gifts We Give What do you do every year that no one really thanks you for—until the one time you don’t? Is it the coconut cake you bring to every holiday? What playlist do you make for family road trips? The perfectly wrapped gifts? The Easter deviled eggs? The Fourth of July blueberry…

Disclaimer: This piece shamelessly uses photography as a metaphor for life. Adjust your lens accordingly. When the Camera’s Missing, So Is the Joy I saw a bird outside my breakfast room window that I’d never seen before. I reached for my camera, but it wasn’t there. I’d put it away weeks ago when I was…

When Your Body Rebels, Reach for Humor Today, I have a pinched nerve firing white-hot pain from my shoulder to my neck. My brain is making grand plans — clean the closet, finish writing, replant a garden bed before lunch. But my body has filed a formal complaint: it’s not participating. So, I laugh and…

Cue the music to Bonnie Raitt’s Something to Talk About.“People are talkin’, talkin’ ’bout people…” I don’t know about the rest of the country, but in the South, I constantly hear women say, “I couldn’t do this or that. What would people say?” Let’s face it — people will always have something to say. They’ll…

Have you spent a lifetime doing work that rarely received applause? You showed up when it was hard, stayed when others left, listened when the world was too busy. You remembered birthdays, kept promises, and carried burdens without complaint. There’s a name for that kind of quiet impact. In watch repair, it’s called a witness…

We’re becoming limited editions – increasingly valuable and slightly eccentric. Some days, we move like creaky antique chairs; other days, we feel like the life of the party (as long as the party ends by 8 PM). Aging isn’t for sissies, but it does come with some unexpected perks — like truly not caring what…