One Day at a Time

One Pearl at a Time

I am not someone who stands on a soapbox or offers testimony. I don’t feel worthy or qualified. I am humbled daily by the fact that I have strung together 13 years of sobriety, not through strength or discipline, but by the grace of God. If I speak about it at all, it is only because honesty sometimes reaches people who are still in crisis.

February 4 marks my anniversary.

I think of each sober day as adding a small pearl to a necklace. Ordinary on its own. Earned quietly. Strung together over time, it becomes something I never imagined I would hold.

I don’t dress it up. This is not an achievement I earned through grit or willpower. It is something that was given to me and something I have chosen, again and again, to honor.

The night I ended up in the ER with a blood alcohol level off the charts, I made a simple commitment to God that was as plain as it gets. If He would help me rebuild my life, I promised I would never drink again. No bargaining. No footnotes. Just a line drawn in desperation. Every time I am tempted to have a drink, I remember my commitment. God has been faithful. My commitment has held.

By February 4, I will have strung together 156 months, 4,748 days, and roughly 15,000 hours of sobriety. Not that I am counting. I mention it only because none of it felt possible at the beginning.

Addiction makes a mess of dignity. It strips away the parts of us we work hardest to present to the world. What I have learned is that honesty is the only place recovery can begin.

Have I been tempted? Yes, repeatedly. Especially during celebrations, when champagne glasses rise and the moment asks to be sealed with a toast. Early on, temptation came in seconds and minutes. Now it is quieter, but it has not disappeared. Sobriety is not about reaching a finish line. It is about choosing the same thing today that you chose yesterday.

Recently, I took someone to an AA meeting. The topic was simple: what do you do to stay sober?

When it was my turn, I said I was 13 years sober because of my spirituality, because of my relationship with God, the God of my understanding. Around the circle, several people admitted they had never fully committed to the spiritual side of recovery. Many were still struggling. It was a few days after Christmas, and more than one person talked openly about getting off the wagon during the holidays.

I don’t say that with judgment. I say it with clarity.

I choose not to stand and preach about sobriety of any kind. I prefer to help one person at a time when they are ready to change their life by getting them to the right place. Whether that is rehab, a professional, or simply taking them to a meeting. I can only share my own recovery. Each person has to find their own path. I see my role as connecting people to resources, and my hope is that they begin stringing together their own pearl necklace. Recently, someone sent me a photo taken on their 30th day sober. Their entire countenance had changed. Those moments are among the most gratifying of my life.

Addiction doesn’t loosen its grip because we wish it would.

I didn’t do this alone. Greg. Laurie. Julie. Elizabeth. Cassandra. Ann. David. Shawn. My gratitude.

One day at a time can sound trite until you live it. In the beginning, it is not a day. It is a second, a minute, an hour. I could not imagine a life without alcohol. I certainly could not imagine stringing together 13 sober years. And yet, here we are.

Sobriety is not only about alcohol. It is about being honest with ourselves about what we use to numb, avoid, or escape. Overeating. Prescription drugs. Overspending. Scrolling. Online games. Porn. Television. We are quick to condemn drug and alcohol addiction while ignoring the hours we disappear into our phones.

February 4 is my other birthday. The day I began piecing my life back together, not perfectly or cleanly, but honestly. One day at a time. With a foundation rooted in the God of my understanding.

That is the story. It is still being written. One day and one pearl at a time.