Aging Gracefully vs. Disgracefully—Let’s Break it Down.
There are sayings about “aging gracefully.” But honestly, what does that even mean? I think aging disgracefully sounds way more realistic and fun. Throw out the rules, forget what society expects — embrace and create chaos wherever you can. Whether you’re sipping tea or zip-lining, it’s all about how you choose to live the last third of your life (or the more graceful term, autumn of your life).
I admire how women choose to age. I play Mahjong with a variety of aging women. We can see how our older members are slipping here and there. We laugh with and love them because we know we aren’t far from their age.
I admire the beautiful, well-coiffed women I see: their silver hair, polished nails, matching attire, and shoes. No matter how hard I try, I will never pull that look together. I equally admire the colorfully eclectic women with amazing clothes and jewelry. Their energy lights up every room they enter.
Grace and Frankie: The Perfect Example of Graceful vs. Disgraceful
If you’ve ever watched Grace and Frankie, you’ve seen these two women perfectly embody these approaches to aging. Grace is all about aging gracefully: she’s always polished, always in control (or at least trying to be). She’s the classic example of staying composed and elegant, even when life gets messy.
Then there’s Frankie, who throws the rulebook out the window. She’s vibrant, chaotic, and unafraid to embrace her inner wild child. She’s got the spirit of someone who knows that aging disgracefully means having fun, breaking the mold, and refusing to fit anyone’s expectations.
And here’s the beauty of it: neither of them is wrong. Whether you identify more with Grace’s composed demeanor or Frankie’s free-spirited vibe, it’s all about living your life authentically.
So, what does aging gracefully vs. disgracefully look like (in my opinion)?
Aging Gracefully:
- Sipping tea while knitting or reading a classic novel, wearing elegant, matching loungewear.
- Wearing sensible but stylish shoes and matching attire that is “age appropriate.”
- Opting for timeless haircuts and letting your gray grow.
- Practicing gentle yoga or going on nature walks.
- Offering advice with calm wisdom, only when asked.
Aging Disgracefully:
- Picking up a wild new hobby like salsa dancing or zip-lining.
- Wearing loud, bold clothes that make a statement—forget blending in.
- Dancing in the living room, no matter who’s watching.
- Laughing at every wrinkle and refusing to slow down just because society says we should.
- Giving your opinion to everyone you feel needs to hear.
Neither way is wrong; it’s all about how you want to live the autumn of your life.
Sneaky Little Things We Start to Notice
As we settle into the latter thirds of our lives, there are some sneaky little things no one warns us about—those unexpected changes that remind us that we’re not 30 anymore. Here’s what we start to notice, and how we can address them:
- The Body Doesn’t Always Cooperate: You wake up with aches in places you didn’t even know existed. You don’t bounce back as quickly after a long day, and stairs seem steeper than they used to. The solution? Laughter and stretching. Maybe your knees crack more than a bag of chips, but it’s okay—keep moving in ways that feel good for you. Repeat, keep moving.
- Memory Fogs: Have you ever walked into a room and forgotten why you went there in the first place? Or start a story and completely lose your train of thought? It happens to all of us. Keep a notebook handy or use your phone’s reminders. And when the memory slips? Laugh it off. And if it’s worrisome, see a doctor.
- The Changing Face: Wrinkles start showing up in places you never thought possible, and maybe you find yourself scrutinizing your reflection more than you’d like. Or, my favorite, gray hair coming out of a facial mole! Instead of fighting every imperfection, embrace them—they’re earned from years of smiling, laughing, and living.
- Shifting Priorities: In your 30s, you might’ve been worried about what people thought or how you presented yourself. But now? There’s freedom in not caring as much. You stop trying to keep up appearances and focus on what makes you happy.
- Letting Go of Perfection: This might be the most freeing part of all. Gone are the days of stressing about having the perfect home or look. It’s about embracing imperfections and finding joy.
Active Aging Week: Let’s Do It Our Way
This is Active Aging Week from September 30 to October 6, focusing on wellness. I had never heard of it until researching an article. Here are some ideas on how we can embrace the seven dimensions of health in a way that works for us:
- Emotional Wellness: Feel all your feelings. Let it all out, whether it’s a good cry or laughing until you snort. We’ve earned the right to embrace our emotions.
- Intellectual Wellness: Learn something new that excites you. You don’t have to be perfect at it—enjoy the process. (Hello, crochet. Spoiler: I’m terrible at it, but it’s fun!)
- Physical Wellness: Move in ways that feel good. Dance in the kitchen, walk in the park or stretch every morning. Just keep moving. You can get stronger at any age.
- Professional Wellness: Even if you’re retired, find purpose in your days. Whether it’s volunteering, mentoring, or finally tackling that passion project, do something that lights you up.
- Social Wellness: Surround yourself with people who make you laugh and lift you. Let go of anyone who drains you—life’s too short.
- Spiritual Wellness: Whatever brings you peace—whether it’s meditation, prayer, or gardening—make time for it. Your spirit deserves attention.
- Environmental Wellness: Create spaces that make you smile. Clean out a drawer, add some plants, or make a cozy nook for yourself. Little changes make a big difference.
Final Thoughts on How We Choose to Age
Aging is messy, unpredictable, and often hilarious. Whether you age gracefully or disgracefully, living on your terms is important. Personally, I plan on doing both. Embrace the sneaky changes, laugh at the wrinkles, and make the most of every moment.