Have You Experienced a Setback?
Remember that time you thought everything was falling apart? What if it was falling into place?
“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” – Charles R. Swindoll.
We’ve all heard that quote, right? While we can’t control what happens to us, we can control our attitude and response.
Maybe you just rolled your eyes at its “cheesy” optimism. But have you ever stopped to really consider it? What if the curveballs life throws at us – the setbacks, the unexpected detours – aren’t meant to break us but to reshape us?
The Setback That Became a Turning Point
I remember when my career ended, and I accepted a buyout. At the time, I was devastated—angry, scared, and convinced that everything was falling apart, but looking back? That loss was the push I needed to step into something far greater than I ever imagined. It forced me to create opportunities for myself rather than waiting for someone else to give them to me. That job loss wasn’t an ending—it was a redirection. (Did it take a couple of years and changes in direction to get where I am today? Yes, it did!)
And that’s what I want you to think about today: How do we move forward when the past chapter closes, sometimes without our permission? How can we take control of our own story?
Life’s Unwritten Stories
I keep a bookmark that says, “Life is a story you write as you go.” Each week, I challenge you to focus on one idea that will help you solve a problem. I write about my life, hoping it will help one person in their journey. Like many of you, I’m not a perpetual Pollyanna. I live with a healthy dose of sarcasm and question everything. But I strive to approach each day with gratitude, recognizing that there’s always something to appreciate, even in challenging times.
So, what happens after the setbacks, the betrayals, the unexpected life detours? How do you move forward when life throws you a curveball? What do you make if life hands you a lemon (or lime)?
I wish I could tell you I handled setbacks beautifully. I didn’t. I’ve been angry, I’ve lashed out, and, yes, I’ve even contemplated revenge. I’m not proud of those reactions, but as I focused on my mental and emotional well-being, I found healthier ways to cope with setbacks, betrayals, and losses, especially without turning to alcohol. Have I consumed countless amounts of chocolate, iced tea, chips, and salsa? Absolutely. Have I thrown pity parties for days and cried on the phone to friends (and my therapist)? Hell yes. Eventually, I pulled myself together, put on my big girl panties, and got back to living my life.
Take Inventory: Your Personal Life Audit
A personal life audit is one of the most powerful tools for navigating transitions. It allows you to step back, examine your experiences, and identify hidden opportunities within them. Here’s a free journal page for you. If you don’t have a printer, get a notebook, make three columns, and use the prompts below:
- Setback: What happened? (e.g., job loss, relationship ending, health scare, financial setback)
- How Did You React? Did you panic? Did you power through? Did you try to hold onto what was already gone? What emotions did you experience?
- Where Are You Now? How did that experience shape you? Did it force you to grow in unexpected ways? Are you better off now, even if it didn’t feel like it at the time? What did you learn?
- Where Do You Want to Go From Here? What steps can you take to keep moving forward? What support, habits, or mindset shifts will help you grow?
- I want to feel…
- I want to experience…
- I want to learn…
When I did this exercise, I realized something profound: some of my most painful experiences paved the way for the best parts of my life today.
Are You at a Crossroads?
Maybe you’re feeling lost and uncertain about the future. Perhaps you’re standing at a crossroads, even if you don’t realize it yet. The beautiful thing is you don’t need to be in crisis to decide to change your life. You can give yourself permission to start fresh simply because you can.
Whether you’re 35 and wondering what’s next after a major breakup, 45 and questioning your career path, or 65 and realizing you have decades of adventure still ahead, this moment is yours to redefine. It’s an invitation to ask yourself: What do I really want?
Purpose and Possibilities
If life has cleared out something (or someone) recently, consider it an opportunity—not to wallow indefinitely (though a short-term wallow with a box of chocolate is perfectly acceptable!), but to explore new possibilities. You don’t need a five-year plan (at least not yet). You just need a next step.
Maybe you’ve always wanted to write, travel, or start a side business.
You may want to get your finances in order to have real freedom.
Maybe you want to feel strong, healthy, and excited about waking up in the morning.
The good news? You get to choose.
Health, Money, Growth, and a Little Bit of Adventure
Let’s break it down into what really matters:
- Health: You don’t have to become a green smoothie person (unless you want to!). But small, consistent changes—like a daily walk (try using a step-tracking app like Pacer and aim for 7,000 steps a day) or adding more vegetables to your diet—can have a huge impact on your overall well-being.
- Finances: Money stress is real. But taking control of your finances—even just tracking your spending for a month (start with the 50/30/20 budget rule: 50% of your income for needs, 30% for wants, and 20% for savings and debt repayment)—can create a sense of freedom and empowerment.
- Personal Growth: Read a new book, learn a new skill, or do something that scares you just a little. (Take a free course on Coursera or Skillshare in a subject that interests you.) Growth doesn’t stop unless you let it.
- Adventure: Change your scenery! Even a day trip to a nearby town or a new park can offer fresh perspectives and inspiration. (For example, Visit a local park you’ve never visited and explore a new trail.)
You’re Not Stuck. You’re Just in Transition.
When life happens, allow yourself time to process and feel your emotions. But don’t let those feelings define you. Remember that obstacles are often removed to clear a path for something better.
How do you look at your life’s setbacks? Did you live in the incident? Or did you adjust your attitude, and can you now see that your life is better for it? At the very least, is it different in a way that shaped you into someone stronger?
The next chapter of your life has yet to be written, which means you get to decide how it goes.
Your Turn: Take Action
I challenge you to take 10 minutes today to reflect on your biggest life challenges and how you overcame them (or are overcoming them now). Look at where you’ve been, how you handled those moments, and where you are now.
Have you ever had a moment that seemed like an ending but turned out to be a new beginning? Please share your story in the comments below or send me a message. Your experience might be exactly what someone else needs to hear today.
Let’s keep the conversation going and lift each other up. Because no matter what life throws at us, we get to decide what happens next.
So, what’s next for you? Please email me and let me know!