It’s a Good Thing?

Grab yourself a peppermint, double-espresso, mocha-cinnamon something and sit down. The last quarter of the year is beginning, and we need to talk about perfectionism before it starts assigning us projects.

If you didn’t get the perfectionism gene, congratulations. You may enjoy your fall. The rest of us have lists to make.

There was a time when I attempted everything myself under the respectable guise of learning how to do it. I cooked. I decorated. Martha Stewart was my hero, and I studied her magazines as though they were textbooks. I even bought antique chocolate molds.

Then one morning I watched her demonstrate a recipe on the Today show while I paged through her magazine. There she was on television, stirring. There she was again in print, arranging flowers, glazing a ham, restoring a farmhouse, and tossing seeds to the chickens.

It finally occurred to me: Martha had a staff.

I had one employee. Me. She was tired.

I sought therapy, adjusted a few expectations, and traded Martha Stewart Living for Real Simple. It wasn’t that simple. I kept the chocolate molds, though. They really were a good thing.

Now that the years go faster, I have a team. I call them the Fab Four. We realized I couldn’t do it all myself anymore, but we weren’t ready to let the traditions go. Jennifer and I are already planning food. Amber, who puts up her Christmas decorations the day after Halloween, is making her amazing pickles. Alison wants a production schedule for the strawberry jam and Chex Mix. My adopted niece Christie will help package gifts and catch whatever falls apart.

Also on my calendar: making 200 red bows for Millstone. Christmas Open House is October 17, and the red-bow season has arrived. I’m preparing for a major photography trip. The trip requires packing. I carry more camera equipment than clothes.

This week my test results showed no cancer. I was with Christie when I got the call. We asked the nurse to say it again. No big C. They still don’t know what’s wrong, so there will be more tests. I can deal with more tests.

Still, when I looked at the bows, the trip, the tests, the jam, and everything else at once, I felt a panic attack coming on and reached for my anxiety medication.

Am I the only one grocery shopping for holiday groceries in October? Seriously, buy your Wheat Chex now before it runs out.

This time of year, traditions still matter. That’s why we keep making the lists. What has changed for me is who helps make them happen. Years ago, perfect meant proving I could do everything myself, flawlessly. Now I go to my brothers’ homes for the holidays. The jam and Chex Mix are still on the list. So are Amber’s pickles.

Perhaps your idea of perfect has changed, too. Maybe someone else makes a recipe you once considered your responsibility. Maybe you’ve learned to ask for help and accept it. But you insist they use your recipe and you oversee every step of the production.

I may have stopped trying to be Martha Stewart. I hope I never stop trying for some semblance of perfection, even if it takes a team.

Alison will ask for the Chex Mix production schedule again. I’m counting on it.

It’s a good thing.