I’ve never had a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Overexplaining. Sending the second text. Replaying situations in my mind at 2 a.m. and again at 5:30 a.m. Rehearsing arguments in the shower like I’m preparing for Supreme Court oral arguments. Running conversations in my head from fifteen years ago, knowing exactly what I should have said. Nailing it. Every time.

Sound familiar? I thought so

Because here’s what nobody mentions: a lot of what we’ve cheerfully labeled “overthinking,” “being a lot,” or simply how we are, turns out to be a pattern.

Here’s what it’s like to live with a brain that treats minor inconveniences like severe weather events.

The word “fine” requires two explanations.

  • You hear “fine” and spend twenty minutes figuring out what you did wrong.
  • You say, “I’m fine” and mean it, mostly.
  • You draft an entire imaginary conversation in the shower, including the other person’s responses, which you also write.
  • You replay something someone said in 2011 and finally — finally — know exactly how to respond. You rehearse.
  • You send one more text. You knew you shouldn’t send. You did it anyway.
  • You start cleaning the kitchen, remember a phone call, walk into another room, forget why, begin cleaning your underwear drawer, and remember to start dinner. The kitchen is worse.
  • You consult two friends before responding to a mildly awkward email. Maybe three.
  • You try to smooth something over and somehow make it more complicated. You are genuinely surprised every time.
  • You apologize for things that haven’t happened yet, just to be safe.
  • You feel personally responsible for the mood in every room you walk into, even rooms you don’t particularly like.
  • You have an emotional support beverage. It travels with you. If you see me order half-and-half tea, know a crisis is at hand.
  • You ignore something for three weeks, then handle it in twenty minutes of very focused energy. You call this a system. It is not a system.

Turns out a shocking number of adults are simply walking around unsupervised, emotionally improvising their way through life.

Personally, I’ve accepted that my brain and I are no longer trying to become better people. I refer to my morning meds and coffee as a magical mixture that creates a Mary Harvey Gurley that’s safe for the planet!

Progress is progress.